Friday, September 2, 2011

Bullet Points on Bullying

*One of my kids is getting bullied, but asked that I don't identify them.

*This child is one of the happiest people that I know.

*It breaks my heart to hear the tales, and makes me wonder what ones are kept inside.

*I know the parents and some of the bullies.

*I want to lash out at them both using the same methods used on my child.

* I want to rip down the veil of Not My Kid.

*I want to scream with my megaphone into the ears of the adults in charge when this happens.

*I know that fighting ugly with ugly doesn't solve anything.

*I want to make them all read Hate List, by Jennifer Brown.

*I want to homeschool my child, although- honestly-I am not qualified to homeschool anyone above the age of 4.

*So I pray. Hard. Pray that the action plan we developed with our child works.  Pray that all the action plans of the school work. Pray that I choose my words and tone with care. Pray that my child keeps telling us the truth. Pray that my child learns that strength comes from intelligence, empathy and compassion, not hate and violence.

*I pray that the bullying stops. Pray that the bullies realize the whats and whys of their actions. Pray this not just for my child, but for the others.Pray for the small and shy,the strong and outgoing, the timid and the brave.

*All of them.


  1. My son was bullied several times in grade school, but it wasn't one of the reasons I decided to homeschool (and, p.s. - anyone can homeschool if they really want too regardless of qualifications...).

    On one occasion, I even witnessed it. When I said something to the bully, he denied it but his dad then arrived to pick him up. I mentioned it to the dad, fully expecting a fight...instead, the dad calmly turned to his son and said, "Tell me the truth. Did you say blah blah blah to this boy, and have you been bothering him?" The kid confessed to what I'd witnessed and other instances. The next day, he came to school with a hand written apology note, and the dad also apologized for his child's behavior. From that point on, that kid actually turned out to be an anti-bully, stopping others from bullying on the playground. It was a really great turnaround.

    On a previous occasion, however, the school administration of my son's 1st grade school actually protected the bully, and nearly suspended my son and a handful of other kids. This bully was actively allowed to continue his bullying!!! We were told that as parents, we should be more understanding of this boy's behavior and problems. It wasn't until a child ended up with a broken arm, my son had damaged property, and several parents wrote a complaint letter to the superintendent of the school district that anything was resolved. The boy got placed in mandatory counseling during recesses, was assigned an aid, and the principal of the school was in a pile of poo for her lack of action.

    Bullying is awful, and can RUIN lives. One of the several reasons that my son was bullied in early elementary was because he had to wear an eye patch for vision correction. When we changed schools (obviously prior to homeschooling), I asked his new teacher if I could give a presentation on JP's eye patch, and on how we are all different. The teacher told me later that it really helped bond her class, and the kids did a great job of helping stand up for each other and stopped the bullying from older kids themselves.

  2. UGH! I hope it gets resolved soon. I know some very sneaky bullies who are so well-versed in the "art" of bullying that they are hard to catch in the act. It's all under the table. Kids are afraid to tell teachers because they fear retaliation. I hope your kiddo keeps talking to you.


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