Thursday, August 25, 2011

W Is Still In The House

A few months back, Brian and I had a...disagreement. The details are not important. I won't play He Said/She Said And Had Her Own Blog So She Said It Louder. Let's just go with a universal generic aguement:  He was not completely supportive of a perfectly legal, moral and educational activity I wanted to do. I insisted on doing the activity anyway. He was pissed I went. I was pissed because he was stupid. Classic marital spat.

When I returned from said activity, it was the middle of the day. The kids were not home from school yet, the house was quiet.

By now you know the man leaves me notes. On the kitchen table was a note that said:

Came home for lunch. W is in the house.



The only W I could think of was water. We have a second story laundry room and have, on occassion, had water issues. I looked at the ceiling under the laundry room, and it was dry. 

It had been raining that day, maybe water had come in the basement. I ran downstairs and looked in all the usual places and found no water.

Maybe water had come in through the roof? By now I was a little nervous because if water had come in, and I wasn't home when it did, he would be really mad that he had to be the one to find it. Well, he would be a little mad about that, but morph it into a giganto ball of piss when combined with his anger over my outing. This would mean that he had one up on me, and I would have to find something that he did wrong to even the score.

Yes, "Love does not keep a record of wrongdoings"...I know. But marriage does. Sometimes. And this was going to be one of those times.

My heartbeat raced along with my legs as I darted up the stairs. Eyes up to the ceiling I checked each room-- Bekah's, the kids bathroom, the laundry room...nothing, the ceiling was dry...oh crap! What if it leaked into our closet?! I dashed toward our room and screamed when this caught my eye:

This is a LIFESIZE cardboard cutout of George W Bush. W.


Now, this was several months ago. I have not figured out a way to get W out of our bedroom without Brian throwing a mantrum. This belonged to his parents, and he got it in a move. Plus, no surprise here,  he is a card carrying member of the Republican party. While he sees some errors in the W Presidency, he still stands by the former POTUS. If I tossed it, he would hunt that thing down, and drag it covered in coffee grounds and banana peels back upstairs. Ok, he would probably stop to Lysol it off first.

I know what you are thinking, and trust me, I have not let W see any action.

So there W stands, smiling, all day, all night. We really don't even see him anymore.
The four kids, watching TV

And, not that I am looking to even the score or anything, but if anyone sees a lifesized cardboard cutout of Madeleine Albright, let me know, K?

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