Mom Hair Cuts: As Bad as You Think

There are two versions to this tale, Luke's and The Truth.

Luke claims he came to me and asked me to de-boof (thin) the sides of his hair.

My version (ie: The Truth) indeed has him coming to me, but he asked for a cut like Brian has. I know this cut because I do it for Brian. #3 buzz.

I put the #3 guide on the electric clippers and zap his whole head.

But Luke has had long, shaggy hair all his life. It's been his style, and I like how it looks on him. Suits his wild and goofy personality. He had come to me several times, and I told him "maybe" which, in this house, means, "I highly doubt it but I don't want to tell you why now."

But the other day he got me in a wild mood.

   "Mom, can you cut my hair like Dad's?"

   "No, but I will give you a #4 which is just a little longer. Go get the clippers."

He was back with the cutting stuff and a chair in a nanosecond, very eager to get this done. The other kids stood around because they knew this was going to be entertaining. We didn't let him look in any reflective surfaces until he was standing in front of the bathroom mirror.

Because a picture is worth -- you know, a lot of words--you can easily read this story:

Yeah, that worked out pretty well.

It's not all glitz and glamor

It's 8:00 AM. We have been up for a bit over an hour and I am ready to go back to bed and sleep. Until 2015. Or maybe later if I can figure out a snooze option to accomplish that.

My ears are bleeding from the whining.

I've already yelled once to turn the damn wii off if they can't agree on anything. And twice now " LANGUAGE!" has shot towards them.

There is a small mountain of laundry forming that I need to fold, and another ready to take it's place in the process of getting cleaned.

I have some chores for today that I normally enjoy-- gardening, mowing-- and it's a nice day. But bed seems like such a great option.

When I look at my To Do list for today, I am pretty sure there is little time for me to be sitting here, drinking coffee and typing. But, to be truthful and painfully honest, that is the only thing that holds any appeal at this moment. I mean, besides the go back to bed option.

I am completely overwhelmed and shutting down and not really sure how to climb out of it.

I won't go into the boring details but suffice it to say that we are in a deep gully in a 20 year marriage, 2/3 of my kids are going through the complex, mood-swingy emotions and dramas of teenagerhood- and the third one is six which may as well be 13 for all the attitude he spouts forth. I have been a SAHM for 15 years and my husband has decided that the best course of action for our family would be for me to find a job.

Not a part time job; not a work on it for a future payoff job ( I already have those)- a "real" 40+hr a week job.

Huh?

He feels that his job, plus a full time of mine, will give us the proper balance of time with the kids, and energy spent in maintaining not only our current lifestyle, but also our savings. He feels that he can pick up where I will have to leave off at home- how hard is it?  Bitch slap worthy commentary aside, he might have a point. I guess I would be willing to look for full time work. Except that I can't answer the question: What type of work are you looking for?

I have no freaking idea.

Ask Mr Know-it-all and he will tell you one that pays $X salary.

It must be great to be a Left- Brained person.

No, really. Bottom lining, being all logical all the time? It must be great.

But us Right Brainers, we don't work that way. And when the Lefties start pointing out the obvious, and why can't we see that? Well, I won't speak for all of us, but I shut down.

Usually I am really great good at looking at things with rose colored glasses, seeing the optimism in a situation--I've always liked that about myself. But right now, the boys are STILL fighting over the damn video games, my ears are still bleeding, and that laundry hasn't folded itself-- and that is just the share with the public version. There is more, quite a bit actually, but I have already crossed my personal sharing line. Let's just leave it at: I'm not feeling very optimistic. I'm downright negative, actually.

That should help me get a job, don't you think?

I'm not really a crappy blogger

I have this flower bed right in front of my porch. It's small, maybe a yard square, but it's important in my landscape because it breaks up a sea of concrete and is really the focal point of my entryway.

I like to put a colorful display of annuals in this space. Usually only one or two colors carefully placed  together for impact. I get a lot of compliments on this tiny bed, so I guess I'm doing the right thing. I don't like to put bulbs in the bed because I like to fill it with annuals as soon as the ground is ready. If I have spring bloomers in there, I have to wait for them to pass, and the annuals get a slower start.

But last fall I felt some change in the air. On a whim, I picked up a variety of bulbs at my local *name of a big store that has has low prices everyday and needs no more advertising*, dug criscrossy troughs in the bed, and randomly tossed the bulbs in them. Sorta lazy, sorta trusty, sorta let the bulbs fall where they may and enjoy them there.

Nothing orderly about that!

The first crocuses appeared a couple of months ago. Followed by a natural looking display of daffodils, and now these tulips have opened. If I think about it, there probably should have been more for impact. They are stunning in color, but have to be appreciated on a small scale because there are only a few of them. I see some other buds in there, ready to expose themselves in floral glory, but truthfully, I can't remember what they are. It's a surprise. And I planted it.

Kind of like my life. Everyday is a surprise. It's not that I am lazy, it's not that I don't have things planned--but I am opening  myself to the randmoness that life is tossing my way. I am appreciating the beauty in it. Trying to, anyway.

My life is nothing like it was a year ago, it even changes month to month. Some good, some bad. some ordinary, some surprising, all beautiful in some way. Sometimes I just have to tilt my head to the side, or narrow my focus to see that beauty.

I only put blogs on here that I love. I'm not writing about specific things, or for a specific audience--I just let them fall randomly. I hope that you appreciate them for what they are: a snapshop of that moment of my life.

WAHM SAHM Thank you M'am!

I read an article recently, it talked about SAHMs who make a leap to WAHMs. How this was a growing trend, how finding work at home can solve a lot of problems--someone is home when the kids get home, there is more income, mom has a flexible schedule, etc. The article also talked about how it CREATES some issues--mom's workspace, mom's worktime, mom not staring at the laundry when she should be working thinking, "when is the laundry fairy coming"?

Ok, I made up that last one. But I am making that leap. Now, never ever ever would I call myself trendy.I am the antithesis of trendy...the anit-trend. But this time, I am totally riding the trend. Kowabunga!

But it's hard, to be truthful. I'm not very good at dropping all my SAHM chores, all my SAHM responsibilities,  so I end up being really, really  Over Mom Guilted, and really, really overworked.  But hey, it's 2011-- overworked is the new 21.

WHAT?

See? Overworked. I'm mixing metaphors as I watch my 6 year old play wii in front of me, singing Millionaire. With the cuss words. It's Friday and my bathrooms aren't clean yet-- and my fridge died the other day and it still has quite a bit of rotting food in it. Maybe it didn't die-the fridge coroner has not been out yet to call time of death, the thing is still under warranty SINCE IT IS ONLY TWO MONTHS OLD, so maybe it's just in a coma. Anyway---let's just leave it like this: I am letting a few things slide.

Like this blog. Dang, I love this blog. So I'm not giving it up. NO FREAKING way ( huh, where do the kids get that language, I wonder?) But my posts are not as frequent as as they used to be..or will be again. I will be posting more. I need to give a voice to us WAHMs with a SAHM complex. We need to be heard! I need to be that voice and say things like:

ARRGGHHH!!!

I'M LATE!! GETINTHEVANNOWNOWNOW!!

WAHOOO, PAYCHECK... CRUD, BILLS!

HOW DID IT GET TO BE 9O'CLOCK AT NIGHT AND I"M STILL IN MY JAMMIES AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY!???!

and of course,

WHERE IS THE DAMN LAUNDRY FAIRY!!???

I'm putting the PRO in procrastinate.

Is procrastination an art or a science? Is it our way of percolating an idea, or have we trained ourselves to put all the TO DO's on the back burner in favor of the less productive To Not Do' s? Does writing about not writing make me a better writer?

I have no idea.

But my kids FINALLY left the house  a good 90 minutes ago. They have been here FOREVER...ok, they had a snowday on Friday (again) and now it is Monday and I spent a lot of time with them this weekend. But we all need a break from eachother. And I have some deadlines looming this week. I *can* work when they are home, it's just not always that great when I do. (See: Blog That Got Zero Comments)

So the sun is out, the house is empty and silent and I have a long list of things I wanted to accomplish today. Some are more pleasant tasks than others, and some- if I would just get going on them, I actually will enjoy a great deal.:

*Change all the sheets and wash them, fold them and put them away.

*Write a column about what Noah is learning in Kindergarten

* Continue to research the woman who Beckett and I will be profiling when we sit down in the not-so- soundproof-room-with-a-microphone on Friday. (by "research", I mean that today I have to finish watching a movie about this woman, and read some kiddie books,one grown-up book with really tiny font, and search for google images of her because I have only seen a couple repeated and surely, someone else has painted her portrait or something.)

*Wash the wood floors that got all crapped up this weekend.

*Call my mother and tell her that  the gift card she gave me to Amazon DID work, I had just used up more of my previous balance than I thought. Or rather, Bekah had used up more of my previous balance than I thought.

*Revise the 25 pages of my WIP that my critique partner had taken time from her own procras..er, busy schedule to make comments about last week...and I shoved them into a folder then where they still reside.

*Change a tampon

So you see, I have A LOT to do. Here is what I have done in the last, now 2 hours:

*Drank two cups of coffee (which is actually a decent pace, if I do say so myself)

*Clean out the spinach artichoke dip that splashed and crusted all over the microwave at lunch yesterday and someone (me) neglected to clean until today.

*Stripped the beds,and heap all the sheets in the hallway

*Washed, but not dried, one load of laundry.

*Updated twitter

*Whined to SEVERAL people on facebook about how much I have to do and how lovely and quiet it is here today

*Searched for my dvd of Pride and Prejudice because my friend Mari gushed about Colin Firth (I can't find it!! I'm FREAKING OUT HERE!)

*Read as many accounts of the Academy Awards as I could find.

Uh, yeah. That's it.

Oh, right. I did write this. Sure, technically it wasn't on my list, but it's an accomplishment and I am a modern parent, and don't modern parents thrive on celebrating any accomplishment?

But now- since I have added writing this to my already jam packed day- I can print out as an official to-do list. And link it to my mom so I don't have to call her (Not that I don't like talking to my mom, I do...really Mom..one of the highlights of my day!)


Wow, that list really is getting whittled down. I'm like a Super Do-er. I should go pro.

It's not that hard

When my children were small, they would stand next to me and look up.

" Mommy, you are so tall! Am I going to be as tall as you?"

I would smile the smile of someone who knows a secret, "Oh, yes, probably. It's not that hard."

From their three foot perch they would would stare at me and hug my legs.

" Oh Mommy! You're silly!"

No, I'm short. They just didn't know that. Checking in at a solid 5'2" (and why, yes, my eyes ARE blue!) I really never thought of my height much. Most people are taller than I am-- 3" or a foot, it's all the same. Taller. We get used to the angle that we are looking at things. It's, simply, the way we view the world. It's not different, it just is.

I never coveted height. Why would I? Sometimes I wear heels, but not to be taller, I like how they look. I don't dress to elongate my legs. Really? They are only 29", elongation would be a farce extraordinaire.

No, I never really wanted to be taller. I have step stool, and still have enough spring in my legs to hop up on a kitchen counter to get a bowl from the top cabinet. When I was dating height was never an issue, my husband is about 6', but I think of us as equals.

This is how I was made, and - as I tell my kids- God does not make mistakes.I like what He made. Low center of gravity, able to hide in a crowd of kids-- if anyone has a problem with my height, it's not me.

Sometimes taller people have looked down at me...hey, not  always in a totally negative way, I'm talking directionally. But sure, sometimes they would would look down at me and smile. Like I was some cute child playing dress up. I can assure you, I speak tall. No one of any substance would think I was a child for very long. I have to assume that they soon looked at me as I did at them: a person.

Yes, for most of my life I have not thought about my height much. Until a few months ago. When I realized that Luke was no longer looking up at me, he was looking straight across at me. And then, more recently, I looked at him like I look at most people: up.

My 12 year old is now taller than me.  But here is the weird thing, he has yet to say anything about it. Not one "neener" or a laugh. Even today, when I told him to go back-to-back with me he didn't say "Hey, Shortie",  or make a mini-golf joke. He just did it.

Did I really set an example for treating people? I don't know. Probably not. Most likely this is a parental respect issue. But I can tell you this: when I look up at my smiling faced son, I know that his getting taller than me wasn't hard for him. But for me? The mom who will forevermore have the 3 foot version of him in my memory, and knows that each inch he gains moves him closer to being grown and on his own-- it's very hard, indeed.

Here It Is! My Secret THING!

The History Chicks

"A link? That's it? A. Link. your big secret was a link?"

No, no...it's not just a link! It's a portal to the past! It's a way of connecting women who have come before us to our current lives! It's a way  for amazing you to hear me laugh at my own jokes, drink coffee with a really amazing woman and talk about other really amazing women in history! It's a way of traveling from this page, to the new website my friend Beckett and I launched as a companion to our podcast--The History Chicks.

"uh- history? Really? Isn't that kinda, dry?"

No, not the way we do it it isn't. It's conversational. And it's not just the past, it's the present..the future. Did you know that there are people who are really passionate about certain historical women? Just like you are passionate about cooking, or reading, or gardening, or knitting, or gnome collecting or whatever it is that gets you all tingly. Well, not tingly like THAT..but fired up, excited...ok, really? Come back from the gutter. We introduce you to those people. too.

Maybe I say a name..pick " Lizzy Borden", for instance. Most of you know one poem about her, maybe some random things you have picked up over the years that may, or may, not be true. In less than an hour Beckett and I will give you the facts about Lizzy, place her with other things that were happening in the world at the time she lived and did her, uh. thing. We will bust some myths, point out ways that Lizzie is still impacting our world. You think,"Wow, this Lizzy Borden was more than I thought" so you head over to our website ( THE LINK!) and see what Lizzy looked liked, see some other pictures, and yes...more LINKS to places all over the Internet that will tell you even more about her and her legacy.

Because we all have one, a legacy. Or we will after we are gone. Perhaps part of our legacy (THE LINK) can lead you to part of yours ( a rockin' axe collection, maybe). Or maybe you just are entertained by our storytelling and banter for an hour. That's good, too.

So it's not just a link. It's a portal to history--ours, yours, other women's--- and a portal to the future.

Here, I'll give it to you again. Click it!

THE HISTORY CHICKS