Sunday, October 4, 2009

Confessions of a Germaphobe

Brian will be the first to confess that he is a germaphobe. He doesn't have to be accused of it, he admits it freely. He wears the title like a badge of honor, no, more like a shield than a badge. He feels that his germophobic tendencies keep him and those who he loves safe. He feels that he will do everything in his power to keep us from getting sick. This is his method, what he feels he can do.

He has taken it upon himself to place all over our house, Sanitation Stations. This one is between our kitchen and dining room. Wipe your hands, wipe a counter, wipe a nose, then your hands again, of course-- all you need is right here.

I'm pretty laid back, if he thinks that this is keeping us healthy, then more power to him. His peace of mind is worth it to me. He is the natural born worrier in our couple. Not arguing and allowing this is just my way of helping him worry just a bit less. Some years I think he is right. We have had years when we skip the majority of crud that is floating around. Some years.. eh, not so much. Right now I am winding up our family wide Crud Fest. Only time will tell if this is, overall, a healthy year for us.

In light of what seems to be a fact that the Crud Season is not only upon us, but a bit early this year, here is a tour of all our Sanitation Stations for your consideration. I'm not saying that living life afraid of a teeny germ is the way to go, and I can tell you that being obsessed about it is certainly draining. Moderation in everything. Brian doesn't know much about moderation. Before you roll your eyes, think of this: who wouldn't want a husband who goes into a project with such determination and all encompassing attention? For better or worse.

Most people have Lysol front and center in the cleaning product cabinet like we do.

And most people have soap dispensers at every sink. Ours is just everfilled.

And the Lysol in the kitchen cleaning cabinet isn't the only one in the house. Each toilet sports it's own bottle.

This was the result of the rotovirus that put a kidnergarten aged Bekah in the hospital for 5 days , and Luke in the ER during the same time. We are pretty sure she picked it up at school, computer lab actually, but " kills rotovirus" is right there on the Lysol label.

In the planning mind of the gemaphobe, mini-germx bottles should be plentifully stocked. This is the baking accessory/ germx drawer in our kitchen.

Exactly why this box of Wet Ones is kept in a bowl with bananas totally escapes me. Speaks volumes in my mind, but I suspect the reasons in his are very serious. It does make me laugh, though, so I leave it alone.

Every germaphobes house should have a back up supply of sanitation products. Since Mr Moderation is in charge of this supply, and often given free reign in Sam's Club, we have several stock up spots.

Under the powder room sink, for instance.

Brian does a fine job making sure that the kids have supplies before they head out the door. This is a permanent fixture in Luke's lunchbox.

Of course, the question remains " when they are out of sight of Daddy,do the kids use them?". The world may never know.

Even the cars are not free from germ warfare. This is my van, between the first row of passenger seats. The Wet Ones are for bringing into stores to wipe down carts, the pop ups are for germy hand messes, and the bottles of sanitizer are for squirting whenever the kids get in from school or friends house.

This is just a peek into the life of my germaphobe. You don't see the wiping down of door handles, backpacks and refrigerators. You don't see the man who thinks that his methods are keeping his family safe and healthy. Sure, it's kinda wacked. He might even fess up to it being a sickness. But if you ever meet him, you can shake his hand with the knowledge that you can't catch that sickness from him.


  1. *glares* thanks for sharring this with the entire world. maybe you should do one on how...uh..... GRRRR!!!! he is about halloween

  2. I was actually wondering how a germaphobe handles things like, fall festivals & carnivals? But Halloween -- yes, please enlighten us! :)

  3. That is an excellent question, Tracy. Smithvilles Octoberfest is next weekend, would you like to follow him around and see for yourself? ( The real answer is that he only goes when he HAS to, and then he has a pcket full of wipes and gel). Halloween.. Kurligirli's Dad thinks she is too old to trick or treat.

  4. My best friend Selena and I went trick or treating when we were in 8th grade, and were ridiculed by a number of moron adults. If I were Kurli I would offer to chaperone one or both of her siblings so momma bear could rest her back. Very selfless.

  5. That does sound like something she would also offer for the same selfless reasons. Actually, Daddy thinks Luke is too old as well.Our 'hood on Halloween is like Mardi Gras on a well behaved Bourbon Street.. packed and wild. Beks would not be the only 13 yr old out there.


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