Is procrastination an art or a science? Is it our way of percolating an idea, or have we trained ourselves to put all the TO DO's on the back burner in favor of the less productive To Not Do' s? Does writing about not writing make me a better writer?
I have no idea.
But my kids FINALLY left the house a good 90 minutes ago. They have been here FOREVER...ok, they had a snowday on Friday (again) and now it is Monday and I spent a lot of time with them this weekend. But we all need a break from eachother. And I have some deadlines looming this week. I *can* work when they are home, it's just not always that great when I do. (See: Blog That Got Zero Comments)
So the sun is out, the house is empty and silent and I have a long list of things I wanted to accomplish today. Some are more pleasant tasks than others, and some- if I would just get going on them, I actually will enjoy a great deal.:
*Change all the sheets and wash them, fold them and put them away.
*Write a column about what Noah is learning in Kindergarten
* Continue to research the woman who Beckett and I will be profiling when we sit down in the not-so- soundproof-room-with-a-microphone on Friday. (by "research", I mean that today I have to finish watching a movie about this woman, and read some kiddie books,one grown-up book with really tiny font, and search for google images of her because I have only seen a couple repeated and surely, someone else has painted her portrait or something.)
*Wash the wood floors that got all crapped up this weekend.
*Call my mother and tell her that the gift card she gave me to Amazon DID work, I had just used up more of my previous balance than I thought. Or rather, Bekah had used up more of my previous balance than I thought.
*Revise the 25 pages of my WIP that my critique partner had taken time from her own procras..er, busy schedule to make comments about last week...and I shoved them into a folder then where they still reside.
*Change a tampon
So you see, I have A LOT to do. Here is what I have done in the last, now 2 hours:
*Drank two cups of coffee (which is actually a decent pace, if I do say so myself)
*Clean out the spinach artichoke dip that splashed and crusted all over the microwave at lunch yesterday and someone (me) neglected to clean until today.
*Stripped the beds,and heap all the sheets in the hallway
*Washed, but not dried, one load of laundry.
*Updated twitter
*Whined to SEVERAL people on facebook about how much I have to do and how lovely and quiet it is here today
*Searched for my dvd of Pride and Prejudice because my friend Mari gushed about Colin Firth (I can't find it!! I'm FREAKING OUT HERE!)
*Read as many accounts of the Academy Awards as I could find.
Uh, yeah. That's it.
Oh, right. I did write this. Sure, technically it wasn't on my list, but it's an accomplishment and I am a modern parent, and don't modern parents thrive on celebrating any accomplishment?
But now- since I have added writing this to my already jam packed day- I can print out as an official to-do list. And link it to my mom so I don't have to call her (Not that I don't like talking to my mom, I do...really Mom..one of the highlights of my day!)
Wow, that list really is getting whittled down. I'm like a Super Do-er. I should go pro.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
It's not that hard
When my children were small, they would stand next to me and look up.
" Mommy, you are so tall! Am I going to be as tall as you?"
I would smile the smile of someone who knows a secret, "Oh, yes, probably. It's not that hard."
From their three foot perch they would would stare at me and hug my legs.
" Oh Mommy! You're silly!"
No, I'm short. They just didn't know that. Checking in at a solid 5'2" (and why, yes, my eyes ARE blue!) I really never thought of my height much. Most people are taller than I am-- 3" or a foot, it's all the same. Taller. We get used to the angle that we are looking at things. It's, simply, the way we view the world. It's not different, it just is.
I never coveted height. Why would I? Sometimes I wear heels, but not to be taller, I like how they look. I don't dress to elongate my legs. Really? They are only 29", elongation would be a farce extraordinaire.
No, I never really wanted to be taller. I have step stool, and still have enough spring in my legs to hop up on a kitchen counter to get a bowl from the top cabinet. When I was dating height was never an issue, my husband is about 6', but I think of us as equals.
This is how I was made, and - as I tell my kids- God does not make mistakes.I like what He made. Low center of gravity, able to hide in a crowd of kids-- if anyone has a problem with my height, it's not me.
Sometimes taller people have looked down at me...hey, not always in a totally negative way, I'm talking directionally. But sure, sometimes they would would look down at me and smile. Like I was some cute child playing dress up. I can assure you, I speak tall. No one of any substance would think I was a child for very long. I have to assume that they soon looked at me as I did at them: a person.
Yes, for most of my life I have not thought about my height much. Until a few months ago. When I realized that Luke was no longer looking up at me, he was looking straight across at me. And then, more recently, I looked at him like I look at most people: up.
My 12 year old is now taller than me. But here is the weird thing, he has yet to say anything about it. Not one "neener" or a laugh. Even today, when I told him to go back-to-back with me he didn't say "Hey, Shortie", or make a mini-golf joke. He just did it.
Did I really set an example for treating people? I don't know. Probably not. Most likely this is a parental respect issue. But I can tell you this: when I look up at my smiling faced son, I know that his getting taller than me wasn't hard for him. But for me? The mom who will forevermore have the 3 foot version of him in my memory, and knows that each inch he gains moves him closer to being grown and on his own-- it's very hard, indeed.
" Mommy, you are so tall! Am I going to be as tall as you?"
I would smile the smile of someone who knows a secret, "Oh, yes, probably. It's not that hard."
From their three foot perch they would would stare at me and hug my legs.
" Oh Mommy! You're silly!"
No, I'm short. They just didn't know that. Checking in at a solid 5'2" (and why, yes, my eyes ARE blue!) I really never thought of my height much. Most people are taller than I am-- 3" or a foot, it's all the same. Taller. We get used to the angle that we are looking at things. It's, simply, the way we view the world. It's not different, it just is.
I never coveted height. Why would I? Sometimes I wear heels, but not to be taller, I like how they look. I don't dress to elongate my legs. Really? They are only 29", elongation would be a farce extraordinaire.
No, I never really wanted to be taller. I have step stool, and still have enough spring in my legs to hop up on a kitchen counter to get a bowl from the top cabinet. When I was dating height was never an issue, my husband is about 6', but I think of us as equals.
This is how I was made, and - as I tell my kids- God does not make mistakes.I like what He made. Low center of gravity, able to hide in a crowd of kids-- if anyone has a problem with my height, it's not me.
Sometimes taller people have looked down at me...hey, not always in a totally negative way, I'm talking directionally. But sure, sometimes they would would look down at me and smile. Like I was some cute child playing dress up. I can assure you, I speak tall. No one of any substance would think I was a child for very long. I have to assume that they soon looked at me as I did at them: a person.
Yes, for most of my life I have not thought about my height much. Until a few months ago. When I realized that Luke was no longer looking up at me, he was looking straight across at me. And then, more recently, I looked at him like I look at most people: up.
My 12 year old is now taller than me. But here is the weird thing, he has yet to say anything about it. Not one "neener" or a laugh. Even today, when I told him to go back-to-back with me he didn't say "Hey, Shortie", or make a mini-golf joke. He just did it.
Did I really set an example for treating people? I don't know. Probably not. Most likely this is a parental respect issue. But I can tell you this: when I look up at my smiling faced son, I know that his getting taller than me wasn't hard for him. But for me? The mom who will forevermore have the 3 foot version of him in my memory, and knows that each inch he gains moves him closer to being grown and on his own-- it's very hard, indeed.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Here It Is! My Secret THING!
The History Chicks
"A link? That's it? A. Link. your big secret was a link?"
No, no...it's not just a link! It's a portal to the past! It's a way of connecting women who have come before us to our current lives! It's a way for amazing you to hear me laugh at my own jokes, drink coffee with a really amazing woman and talk about other really amazing women in history! It's a way of traveling from this page, to the new website my friend Beckett and I launched as a companion to our podcast--The History Chicks.
"uh- history? Really? Isn't that kinda, dry?"
No, not the way we do it it isn't. It's conversational. And it's not just the past, it's the present..the future. Did you know that there are people who are really passionate about certain historical women? Just like you are passionate about cooking, or reading, or gardening, or knitting, or gnome collecting or whatever it is that gets you all tingly. Well, not tingly like THAT..but fired up, excited...ok, really? Come back from the gutter. We introduce you to those people. too.
Maybe I say a name..pick " Lizzy Borden", for instance. Most of you know one poem about her, maybe some random things you have picked up over the years that may, or may, not be true. In less than an hour Beckett and I will give you the facts about Lizzy, place her with other things that were happening in the world at the time she lived and did her, uh. thing. We will bust some myths, point out ways that Lizzie is still impacting our world. You think,"Wow, this Lizzy Borden was more than I thought" so you head over to our website ( THE LINK!) and see what Lizzy looked liked, see some other pictures, and yes...more LINKS to places all over the Internet that will tell you even more about her and her legacy.
Because we all have one, a legacy. Or we will after we are gone. Perhaps part of our legacy (THE LINK) can lead you to part of yours ( a rockin' axe collection, maybe). Or maybe you just are entertained by our storytelling and banter for an hour. That's good, too.
So it's not just a link. It's a portal to history--ours, yours, other women's--- and a portal to the future.
Here, I'll give it to you again. Click it!
THE HISTORY CHICKS
"A link? That's it? A. Link. your big secret was a link?"
No, no...it's not just a link! It's a portal to the past! It's a way of connecting women who have come before us to our current lives! It's a way for amazing you to hear me laugh at my own jokes, drink coffee with a really amazing woman and talk about other really amazing women in history! It's a way of traveling from this page, to the new website my friend Beckett and I launched as a companion to our podcast--The History Chicks.
"uh- history? Really? Isn't that kinda, dry?"
No, not the way we do it it isn't. It's conversational. And it's not just the past, it's the present..the future. Did you know that there are people who are really passionate about certain historical women? Just like you are passionate about cooking, or reading, or gardening, or knitting, or gnome collecting or whatever it is that gets you all tingly. Well, not tingly like THAT..but fired up, excited...ok, really? Come back from the gutter. We introduce you to those people. too.
Maybe I say a name..pick " Lizzy Borden", for instance. Most of you know one poem about her, maybe some random things you have picked up over the years that may, or may, not be true. In less than an hour Beckett and I will give you the facts about Lizzy, place her with other things that were happening in the world at the time she lived and did her, uh. thing. We will bust some myths, point out ways that Lizzie is still impacting our world. You think,"Wow, this Lizzy Borden was more than I thought" so you head over to our website ( THE LINK!) and see what Lizzy looked liked, see some other pictures, and yes...more LINKS to places all over the Internet that will tell you even more about her and her legacy.
Because we all have one, a legacy. Or we will after we are gone. Perhaps part of our legacy (THE LINK) can lead you to part of yours ( a rockin' axe collection, maybe). Or maybe you just are entertained by our storytelling and banter for an hour. That's good, too.
So it's not just a link. It's a portal to history--ours, yours, other women's--- and a portal to the future.
Here, I'll give it to you again. Click it!
THE HISTORY CHICKS
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
The Times They Are A -Changin'
I am not a musical person. I am fairly musically illiterate and must follow along with the stronger voices at church because I have no idea what all the symbols in the hymnal mean. I have never played an instrument, and my singing voice can only be admired for it's enthusiasm.
When I hear songs played, they may take me back to a time, a certain place in my personal history. But if you ask me a few moments later what song I just heard, I will struggle to tell you. Cyndi Lauper and the Clash remind me of college, but there are a lot more things that will ignite my memories than music will.
I suck at games where you have to guess the song from the lyrics. And if I have to figure out who sang the song, or the year, I'm even suckier.
Don't feel too badly for me, I believe that this non musicality aids in my earworm immunity. I never get songs stuck in my head and have been know to take great pleasure in putting them in the heads of others.
That is why it stuck me as really odd when I started humming Bob Dylan's The Times They Are A-Changin today. First off, because Bob doesn't write zippy, hummable show tunes. Also, I'm not a hummer. And ,as I just said, I don't associate music TO my life-- it's just kind of on in the background. This gives me more than enough reason to think that this song is my anthem.
The song, written and released while I was still a-changing as a baby, is about adapting. It's about seeing the need to change as the world changes. My world is changing, my kids are getting a bit older, crossing into new parenting territory for Brian and I. I am getting older, careening through menopause. The world, how we communicate, how we share, how we show we care for each other is changing, too.
I read a quote from Mr Dylan that just sealed the anthem deal for me. When asked about the implied ageism meaning of these lyrics,
"Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'"
Bob Dylan said, "Those were the only words I could find to separate aliveness from deadness. It had nothing to do with age."
Damn right it doesn't!
The part I love so much is the imagery of "to separate aliveness from deadness". I want to feel alive. I don't want to feel like my life is ending just because my kids are growing, my body is changing and more candles than ever light up my birthday cake.
I want to feel excited about using the gifts that God has given me.
I want to explore this world that He has created and where all of us reside.
I WANT to be alive to change.
Right now my times are a-changin'. I am morphing from being a stay-at-home mom to being a work-at-home mom. My time, previously prioritized by childrens' needs is now organized by working projects. Mostly writing. You can still see weekly blogs on http://www.mom2momkc.com/ , and also a weekly column in The Kansas City Star (appears on Wednesdays at http://www.kansascity.com/ - just search for my name, Susan Vollenweider). I love this sahmiam blog, even if the title doesn't exactly fit- it's who I was when it began, remains the number one prioritity in my life, and therfore- it shall remain ever so.
And there is another huge, time filling and personally rewarding project that- sadly- I still can't share with you. But I will. VERY soon. I'm really excited about it, and- trust me- keeping it secret is driving me batty. It's this big chunk of my life that I am keeping from people who previously had open access. And I hate that. But it's necessary.
So, until next time when I promise to share-- go google The Times They Are A-Changin'. Marvel at how many covers have been made, AND find your own anthem. PLEASE comment on this blog if you read it and tell me what your anthem is. You don't need to tell me why, unless you would like to- I would love to hear about it!
When I hear songs played, they may take me back to a time, a certain place in my personal history. But if you ask me a few moments later what song I just heard, I will struggle to tell you. Cyndi Lauper and the Clash remind me of college, but there are a lot more things that will ignite my memories than music will.
I suck at games where you have to guess the song from the lyrics. And if I have to figure out who sang the song, or the year, I'm even suckier.
Don't feel too badly for me, I believe that this non musicality aids in my earworm immunity. I never get songs stuck in my head and have been know to take great pleasure in putting them in the heads of others.
That is why it stuck me as really odd when I started humming Bob Dylan's The Times They Are A-Changin today. First off, because Bob doesn't write zippy, hummable show tunes. Also, I'm not a hummer. And ,as I just said, I don't associate music TO my life-- it's just kind of on in the background. This gives me more than enough reason to think that this song is my anthem.
The song, written and released while I was still a-changing as a baby, is about adapting. It's about seeing the need to change as the world changes. My world is changing, my kids are getting a bit older, crossing into new parenting territory for Brian and I. I am getting older, careening through menopause. The world, how we communicate, how we share, how we show we care for each other is changing, too.
I read a quote from Mr Dylan that just sealed the anthem deal for me. When asked about the implied ageism meaning of these lyrics,
"Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'"
Bob Dylan said, "Those were the only words I could find to separate aliveness from deadness. It had nothing to do with age."
Damn right it doesn't!
The part I love so much is the imagery of "to separate aliveness from deadness". I want to feel alive. I don't want to feel like my life is ending just because my kids are growing, my body is changing and more candles than ever light up my birthday cake.
I want to feel excited about using the gifts that God has given me.
I want to explore this world that He has created and where all of us reside.
I WANT to be alive to change.
Right now my times are a-changin'. I am morphing from being a stay-at-home mom to being a work-at-home mom. My time, previously prioritized by childrens' needs is now organized by working projects. Mostly writing. You can still see weekly blogs on http://www.mom2momkc.com/ , and also a weekly column in The Kansas City Star (appears on Wednesdays at http://www.kansascity.com/ - just search for my name, Susan Vollenweider). I love this sahmiam blog, even if the title doesn't exactly fit- it's who I was when it began, remains the number one prioritity in my life, and therfore- it shall remain ever so.
And there is another huge, time filling and personally rewarding project that- sadly- I still can't share with you. But I will. VERY soon. I'm really excited about it, and- trust me- keeping it secret is driving me batty. It's this big chunk of my life that I am keeping from people who previously had open access. And I hate that. But it's necessary.
So, until next time when I promise to share-- go google The Times They Are A-Changin'. Marvel at how many covers have been made, AND find your own anthem. PLEASE comment on this blog if you read it and tell me what your anthem is. You don't need to tell me why, unless you would like to- I would love to hear about it!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
2011:Revelations
I have this reoccuring feeling that the end of the world is right around the corner.
Wow, cheery way to start things off, Susan.
Let me backtrack. I am a Plan C person. Maybe a Plan M. Plan A just never happens to me. I'm ok with that, I've had a lot of experience. You have to start somewhere, right? That is the point of Plan A. The lofty, idealistic Plan A. Then I end up settling for a plan farther down the alphabet and making it work.
But so far this year, and I am tracking this back to just almost the beginning of 2011 (which, I realize was only 8 days ago) but things have been falling freakishly into place. Plan A's are working.
Some Plan As began last year, but they are playing out THIS year. Just as Plan A dictated. Some just pop up. For instance, yesterday I had gotten the dreaded call from the School Nurse. I was not in the middle of anything that couldn't wait, so I hopped into the car and picked him up right away. He had a low grade fever and was waiting to puke, but hadn't yet.
The car that I hopped into was not the child friendly minivan, it was Brian's baby. The car he always wanted but waited and put others things ahead of purchasing and finally got last year. I had Brian's car that day because I had washed and vacuumed it that morning. (I'm a nice wife like that). Now, Kid Logic dictates that Noah would hurl all over the interior of Brian's car. This is a well established fact, and I was prepared for it with a towel and aplastic bag.
But he didn't. We got home, into the house, out of his coat and winter gear, into the freshly cleaned bathroom and then he spewed right into the toilet. He yaaked once more that day, fell sound asleep, and today seems to be doing better. A perfect virus if there ever was one. Quick, neat, over in 12 hours and get back to regularly scheduled life.
THAT is how ALL things are happening. And, quite frankly, it's freaking me out.
Yes, wow, that does sound like me complaining that life is working out, doesn't it? I can't help it. I'm waiting for other shoes to drop. And while I am waiting, I have this other thought: this is my time to have things finally work out--just before the trumpets blow.
Happy and freaky all at once, right? Who knew that both of those emotions could live simultaneously in one head? And they can stay. I'm totally OK with that. Quite a revelation.
Wow, cheery way to start things off, Susan.
Let me backtrack. I am a Plan C person. Maybe a Plan M. Plan A just never happens to me. I'm ok with that, I've had a lot of experience. You have to start somewhere, right? That is the point of Plan A. The lofty, idealistic Plan A. Then I end up settling for a plan farther down the alphabet and making it work.
But so far this year, and I am tracking this back to just almost the beginning of 2011 (which, I realize was only 8 days ago) but things have been falling freakishly into place. Plan A's are working.
Some Plan As began last year, but they are playing out THIS year. Just as Plan A dictated. Some just pop up. For instance, yesterday I had gotten the dreaded call from the School Nurse. I was not in the middle of anything that couldn't wait, so I hopped into the car and picked him up right away. He had a low grade fever and was waiting to puke, but hadn't yet.
The car that I hopped into was not the child friendly minivan, it was Brian's baby. The car he always wanted but waited and put others things ahead of purchasing and finally got last year. I had Brian's car that day because I had washed and vacuumed it that morning. (I'm a nice wife like that). Now, Kid Logic dictates that Noah would hurl all over the interior of Brian's car. This is a well established fact, and I was prepared for it with a towel and aplastic bag.
But he didn't. We got home, into the house, out of his coat and winter gear, into the freshly cleaned bathroom and then he spewed right into the toilet. He yaaked once more that day, fell sound asleep, and today seems to be doing better. A perfect virus if there ever was one. Quick, neat, over in 12 hours and get back to regularly scheduled life.
THAT is how ALL things are happening. And, quite frankly, it's freaking me out.
Yes, wow, that does sound like me complaining that life is working out, doesn't it? I can't help it. I'm waiting for other shoes to drop. And while I am waiting, I have this other thought: this is my time to have things finally work out--just before the trumpets blow.
Happy and freaky all at once, right? Who knew that both of those emotions could live simultaneously in one head? And they can stay. I'm totally OK with that. Quite a revelation.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Worst. Blogger. Ever?
In my defense, like a lot of us, I've been busy. Three kids, one anxiety riddled husband..yadda yadda..makes for a very busy life!! And I have been busy writing, but who wants to write about writing? Ok, maybe some people, but not me. I A) haven't been doing it long enough to share any hard earned wisdom and B) think it's like writing about eating...if you enjoy it, just go do it for yourself because anything that I say will not be the same type of experience that you have.
Anyway, I will share a couple little nuggets:
Nugget #1 I spent the month of November writing a novel.With the guidance and sense of community that NaNoWriMo ( National Novel Writing Month) brings ( see: http://www.nanowrimo.org/ ) I completed the mission.
Of course, it may never be seen by anyone besides my critique group and my mom--but the sense of accomplishment was extraordinary to me. And Bekah wrote alongside me doing the teen version of NaNoWrMo. And she finished as well. Within minuted of each other. We screamed and laughed and danced to Party In The USA. It was really one of those Mother/Daughter moments that lifetime movies are made of. I mean, if sitting around yelling at our laptops, talking to ourselves, laughing for no apparent reason-- for a month was compelling viewing. I think writing a novel is only a spectator sport in Misery.
Nugget #2: Taking a halfway decent Christmas card photo is very time consuming, and family bond testing. the one above took THREE sessions, several location and outfit changes ( Really? you want to wear a t-shirt that says " Awesome begins with me?") and by the time that shot was taken we all were mad at each other. And, that is not the shot that the fam picked for the actual Christmas card, but I look better in this one so..yeah...
Nugget #3: Life is hard. And just when you think you have it all figured out, it gets harder.
Nugget #4: When life gets really hard and you fall to the floor in a sobbing temper tantrum and yell to God that you can't take it anymore, He either says " yes, of course you can. Get your butt up off the floor." Or he hugs you and says " It's ok, My Love, something wonderful will happen very soon and you will be embarrassed that you threw this temper tantrum. But I still love you."
So, while my keeping this blog updated is second on my WORST list ( first has to be my ability to maintain a Twitter presence. I stink. Awful.), today, I wanted to wish you all a very merry Christmas!!!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Call The Summer Of 2010...DONE!
Like staring at each other asking " What do you want to do?".
Last summer we had a clear plan, and had a very full summer. This past summer we thought we would roll with it, let the wind carry us, staycation everyday.
* cue cricket chirp*
We did have some fun, went to the beach, swam at any pool that would have us, played outside, gardened, Noah went to summer school...but we did a whole lot of hanging out at home. We did a whole lot of activities that I could spin to sound idyllic, that I could post more pictures that make our lives look pretty awesome-- but the truth is that the whole summer was sort of boring.
Bekah did a lot of writing, but mostly her facebook status. Luke did a lot of sports, played baseball, took up running, but mostly wrestling was his sport of choice and his favored partner was his brother. Noah made some new friends at school, but he seemed called to play Mariokart.
It was entirely my fault. I can blame the economy, expendable income became even scarcer.I can blame my husband who weekly tells me what we can't afford. But I have been on the SAHM job for 14 years, I should have been more creative. I have known my kids for their entire lives, I know what they like to do. We tried a few things, but really, mostly we settled back down to the repetitive.
But the flip side? They were VERY eager to start school again. A month now. The child who usually has issues getting his brain in gear for school, well, he is still trying to jump start his academics. But I think he will adjust faster than in previous school years. The little guy started Kindergarten. He loves it. Eldest child started her final year of middle school, readying herself for her next life phase.
And me? I am beginning my next life chapter. With all of the kids in school, and my childbearing years ended, I am looking to what my life is going to be now. And where will it play out? Where can I give the tales of the fam? Here. So come back, read my challenges and struggles and lessons learned right here. ( and every Saturday on http://www.mom2momkc.com/).
My summer is over, and my hiatus on here goes with it. Thanks for coming back, and I promise more to come.
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